on a roll

So I'm back at it again. Blogging, that is -- not eating disordered behaviors.

The transition has gone a whole lot better than I thought it would. It certainly hasn't been easy, for there have been moments that I've seriously contemplated purging. And well, I haven't exactly done three meals and two to three snacks each day. But I'm getting my needs met. (I think.)

That's the hard part. Figuring out what's restricting if I happen to have a bigger snack, then maybe not eating anything but a piece of fruit for lunch. Really all this means is that I'm in dire need of a nutritionist and the one at my outpatient clinic doesn't work there anymore and they haven't replaced her yet.

Head tilt.

An eating disorders clinic WITHOUT a nutritionist? How can this be?

The one at the residential program has her own practice but she charges $140 per hour and she doesn't take insurance. So umm...I may be battling that front (the WORST front) by myself for a bit.

There's also the issue of coming up with the finances to afford outpatient. Meeting with my therapist twice a week is $70. The dbt group and the body image group (a new one for me but let's just say I've needed to be apart of this group from the beginning) is $140. Meeting with the psychiatrist each week is $17. Meeting with the physician twice a month is $15 (and when there's a nutritionist that fits into the same bill assuming I see them on the same day). And then there's the outpatient group that the residential program has for alumnae (although they erroneously call it the alumni group -- but we're all women!) is $25.

The grand total being a little less than $1040 per MONTH.

So maybe I'll have to cut back to just the body image group and alumni group, once a week with the therapist, once a month with the psychiatrist and the doctor.

I need a job!

But I'm not letting this stress me out. For now I'm going to continue to fight this battle and let the money work itself out. Surprisingly, it has for the past 19 months and worrying does nothing to remedy the situation.

I've missed the sac and I'm glad to be back.

But I just have one question. Where is everyone?

(off to dinner. it's called self care!)

The grand total for the month is