I must have really taken a break from the binging because I had almost forgotten the uncomfortable feeling in my stomach that comes along with the disorder. Oh my gosh! It was almost unbearable. I felt so completely bloated and stuffed and it just felt like if I scratched my skin that I would burst at the seams and would start oozing out. Lovely, huh?

So I've spent the past two days binging and trying to recover. Clearly I'm going through the ringer because I purposely did not purge and now my body is punishing me. However, I still managed to be quite productive yesterday (which is what I'm most proud of). I applied for five jobs and while I already concede that it's not a full day's work...it came as quite a triumph seeing as how the thought of looking through the classifieds section on Tuesday sent me into crazy binge mode. Thank God that anxiety has passed.

I'm really really tired right now though. I only got about six hours of sleep (half my regular amount) because I had to take Jay off to school which meant getting him up and in the shower and dressed and fed. (And I coaxed him into doing five addition problems before school which I thought would warm him up for the day academically.) We'll see how well that worked this afternoon. I was really glad that he spent the night because we got to spend a lot of time together and the kid is just too darn funny and cute.

I wish I could take a nap but I have some homework to finish up before I go see Shish. I was looking forward to today all week but now that I'm feeling sick and tired I'm afraid it's going to be another one of those sessions. Last night I really had the urge to binge. I mean it was crazy because my stomach felt just awful and yet the only thing I could think of was food. I considered sticking my keys in a bucket of cold water and freezing it...so that when I get the urge, I can't actually get in the car to leave. Oh man...I need a prayer